Social Awareness and Interacting With Others

Typically, the first thing that comes into a person’s mind when they read the word ‘social’ is people. These people can be of different races, cultures, genders and ethnicities. When we discuss social awareness, it mostly relates to understanding the emotions and actions of other people and learning how to behave in such situations.

Given the examples below:

• The waiter who recognises the guest’s privacy needs with little small talk…

• The customer service representative who goes extra mile to help…

• The supportive team leader…

• The executive that remembers our name…

Each of these things has one thing in common: They excel in social awareness.

What the research says

We are all social beings. Being able to communicate, connect and collaborate with others influences all areas of our personal and professional lives. Social awareness develops during childhood as we learn to pick up on social cues, norms and expectations through our interactions with those around us.

Daniel Goleman, the author of Emotional Intelligence, refers to social awareness as self-awareness turned out. Awareness of social situations means we carefully consider what people want and plan to communicate with them in a way that is intended to meet that need. Recognising the emotions, needs and perspectives of others doesn’t always come naturally. Learning to take notice of our emotions will be the foundation of understanding the feelings of others.

In general, the abilities of social awareness include:

• Leaning into others’ perspectives with curiosity

• Recognizing and acknowledging the inherent strengths of others

• Demonstrating empathy and compassion

• Showing concern for the feelings of others

• Identifying diverse cultural and social norms, including unjust ones

• Recognizing situational demands and opportunities

• Understanding the influences of biased and racist systems and structures on mindset, behaviour, and actions

• Creating and maintaining a just and caring community.

Benefits of strong social-awareness

Lacking social awareness can lead to misunderstandings, conflict and relationship difficulties, while high social awareness is more likely to contribute to healthier, more meaningful and fulfilling relationships.

Some of the benefits we can expect from high social awareness are as follows:

• Supports effective communication

• Promotes empathy, compassion, and understanding

• Builds trust and connection

• Strengthens connections/relationships

• Supports constructive conflict resolution

• Facilitates effective leadership

• Improves team dynamics

• Lessen discrimination towards other people

• Increase our overall positive life

The three aspects of social awareness

Goleman (2020) states that the domain – social awareness – includes three key concepts:

Empathy

Being empathic means the ability of one individual to relate to another person’s issues, acknowledge their emotions and take actions based on these emotions. Active listening without judgment is one of the core traits that can boost our empathy.

Service orientation

Being service-oriented mainly refers to understanding the needs of clients and being able to deliver what they want. And in order to be able to understand the needs of others, what better way to do that than communicating with them, being attentive and showing empathy?

Organisational awareness

Organisational awareness is important as it helps us figure out what happens in the workplace. We can do this by observing how the hierarchy works, who gives the orders and to whom we’re required to report. Also, keep an eye out for the ‘influencers’ in an organisation and use them to develop culture and realise its vision. Go over the rules and requirements that are mentioned on the official pages to keep us from any issues.

Social-awareness strategies

In the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 co-written by Dr Travis Bradberry & Dr Jean Greaves (2009), the authors introduced 17 strategies to help us tackle the obstacles that get in our way to improve social awareness and provide us with a helping hand when the going gets tough.

Greet people by name

Greeting someone by name is one of the most basic and influential social awareness strategies we can develop. It’s a personal and meaningful way to engage someone. Remembering a person’s name is a brain exercise – practice may be required. And be sure to use the person’s name at least twice during the conversation.

Watch body language

It’s just important for us to become expert readers of body language, we will know how people are feeling and can plan an appropriate response. Start with the head and face, then move to the shoulders, torso and limbs.

Make timing everything

Start working on our timing by asking the right questions at the right time with the right frame of mind, all with our audience in mind. As we practice our timing, remember that the key to social awareness is focusing on others, instead of on ourselves, so that we can be more effective.

Develop a back-pocket question

A back-pocket question is what we use just in case to bail us out of any awkward silence or uncomfortable moment. Pick a handful of issues that require some explanation like work or current issues, but avoid politics, religions and other potentially sensitive areas.

Don’t take notes at meetings

Don’t take notes at our next meetings. Instead, look at each person’s face and notice his or her expressions. Make eye contact with whoever is speaking. We will feel more engaged and focused on others and pick up on things that pen and paper surely miss. If we need to take notes for practical purposes, temporarily stop at intervals to practice observation.

Plan ahead for social gatherings

Planning ahead for an event can be our saving grace, freeing up our mental energy and brain power so we can focus on the present moment. Start with an index card, list who is going to be at the event and list any talking points or to-do’s.

Clear away the clutter

To clean up the internal distractions and master listening skills during conversations with others, here are some steps to follow through:

• Don’t interrupt the other person until he or she is completely finished.

• Catch ourselves when we are planning to respond, stop and clear away the clutter.

• Refocus ourselves on the person’s face and words.

• If needed, lean towards the speaker to focus our body into the conversation.

Live in the moment

Social awareness requires us to live in the present moment so we can notice what’s happening with others right now. Make it a habit and it will lift our social awareness skills.

Go on a 15-minute tour

During any workday, take just 15 minutes to walk around and observe where we work and notice our surroundings. Focus intently on what we see, hear and pick up on in other people. This will help us get in tune with other people and their emotions and refocus our attention on some of the smaller yet critical social clues that exist right under our noses.

Watch EQ at the movies

Movies are an abundant source of EQ skills in action, demonstrating behaviours to emulate or completely avoid. When we watch a movie to observe social cues, we’re practising social awareness in the most useful and entertaining way for the real world. Make a point to watch two movies for a month to figure out how each character is feeling and observe how the characters handle the conflicts.

Practice the art of listening

Listening isn’t just about hearing words, it’s also about listening to the tone, speed and volume of the voice. Here’s the strategy to practice: when someone is talking to us, stop everything else and listen fully until the other person is finished speaking. Simple things like these will help us stay in the present moment, pick up on the cues and really hear what he or she is saying.

Go people watching

People watching either in a local coffee shop, grocery store or other public places is a safe way for us to pick up on signals, observe interactions, and figure out underlying motivations or emotions without entering into the interaction ourselves.

Understand the rules of the culture game

Much of doing and saying the right thing in social situations comes from understanding the rules of the culture game. The secret to winning this culture game is to treat others how they want to be treated, not how we would want to be treated. Taking a longer time to listen, observe people’s interactions, look for similarities and differences and think before we jump to conclusions are among many ways to help us master multiple sets of rules at once.

Test for accuracy

At some point in life, we will face difficulties in reading someone when there’s so much interference and activity with the person or the room. In these cases, simply ask if what we’re observing in people or situations is actually what’s occurring. If we don’t ask, we’ll never be sure.

Step into their shoes

Walking in the shoes of another is social awareness at its best to gain perspective and deeper understanding of others, improve our communication and identify problems before they escalate. Asking ourselves questions that start with “If I were this person…” to practice this strategy and get feedback.

Seek the whole picture

Looking outward and seeking feedback is key to social awareness because this gives us the chance to see how others view us – to see the whole picture. Regardless of the answers, their perceptions matter because others’ opinions of us influence us and our lives.

Catch the mood of the room

Once we’ve mastered reading the cues and emotions of other people, we’re ready to read an entire room just by hearing their voice levels and tone, posture and body language. The sooner we can hone our ability to spot safety, concern or shifts in moods in group settings, the more skilled we will be in maneuvering through the social wilds of our life.

References

Barlow, M 2020, ‘The road to social awareness’, Forbes, available at <https://www.forbes.com/councils/forbescoachescouncil/2020/06/05/the-road-to-social-awareness/>.

Bradberry, T and Greaves, J 2009, Emotional intelligence 2.0. San Diego, CA: TalentSmart.

California Department of Education n.d., Social awareness: a core social-emotional learning competency, available at <https://www.cde.ca.gov/ci/se/tselsocialawareness.asp>.

Eli, S n.d., Social awareness: emotional intelligence for athletes, Success Starts Within, available at <https://www.successstartswithin.com/sports-psychology-articles/emotional-intelligence-for-athletes/social-awareness/>.

Goleman, D 1995, Emotional intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ, New York: Bantam Dell.

Goleman, D 2020, ‘What people still get wrong about emotional intelligence’, Harvard Business Review, available at <https://hbr.org/2020/12/what-people-still-get-wrong-about-emotional-intelligence>.

Noble, H 2024, ‘Harnessing the power of social awareness’, Psychology Today, available at <https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/everyday-resilience/202404/harnessing-the-power-of-social-awareness>.